EMBRACING THE CRONE

The ancient Celts believed in the Triple Goddess concept in which the Goddess is split into three aspects - Maid, Mother, and Crone or the three phases of a woman's life cycle. These aspects correspond to the three phases of the moon - waxing, full, and waning.  I get this and understand the meaning behind it, however I must admit embracing the crone has been a hard pill for me to swallow.

Recently I turned 46 years old and discovered that I had developed a condition called hyperthyroidism.  This condition with my thyroid threw me directly into menopause.  Now let me tell you THAT is a shock to the system to go from full steam ahead to a dead stop in zero to sixty seconds.  The body needs time to adjust to these changes, not to mention the mind.  A little warning would have been nice, but apparently that wasn't meant to be.

Before this happened I had never given much thought to the crone stage.  I figured it was far away and I didn't need to concern myself with it.  Besides, other than the gained wisdom, it held no appeal to me whatsoever.  I mean really, what do YOU think of when you consider the word CRONE???  Well, personally, I envisioned an unappealing, wrinkled, dried up old hag with no sensuality, no sex appeal, and no charisma and THAT my friends, was not a path I was ready or willing to walk.

But now that I am physically IN the crone stage, my mental Maiden is going to have to make some moves to catch up, for although my body screams crone at me, my mind cries maiden. There is a Mother stage in there somewhere that must be found also.  Physically I am a mother and I know I have some of the mother qualities such as fierce protection and nurturing but in many ways I am still stuck in the Maiden stage of life, rebellion, outspokeness, "pissed off passion", as my Shaman teacher, Jeffrey Pierce, calls it.

So how does one get from point A to point C and somehow touch on point B in the process?  That is what I am trying to figure out.  I realize that I must rethink my opinion of the crone because I absolutely refuse to consider myself a dried up old hag at this stage of the game.  And I think this is my biggest stumbling block in embracing the crone.

In order to embrace the crone, I must let go of ego.  Society sees youth as beautiful.  Society has little use for the dried up old crones.  I have fallen for the lies that society has fed me.  I have fallen for the lie that if I am no longer young, and beautiful and fertile, then I am of no use.  If I listen to society, I am not appealing and I am not desirable.  I must find the beauty within me.  I must reconcile within MYSELF what makes me desirable and beautiful and let go of the world's definition of beauty.  I must recognize that the wisdom of the crone is a beauty all its own.  I must see the crone as beautiful, then I can find peace.  When the Maiden no longer fears the Crone then the Mother can be found.  (Jeffrey, you will get this last part:)

Embracing the Crone

The ancient Celts believed in the Triple Goddess concept in which the Goddess is split into three aspects - Maid, Mother, and Crone or the three phases of a woman's life cycle. These aspects correspond to the three phases of the moon - waxing, full, and waning.  I get this and understand the meaning behind it, however I must admit embracing the crone has been a hard pill for me to swallow.

Recently I turned 46 years old and discovered that I had developed a condition called hyperthyroidism.  This condition with my thyroid threw me directly into menopause.  Now let me tell you THAT is a shock to the system to go from full steam ahead to a dead stop in zero to sixty seconds.  The body needs time to adjust to these changes, not to mention the mind.  A little warning would have been nice, but apparently that wasn't meant to be.

Before this happened I had never given much thought to the crone stage.  I figured it was far away and I didn't need to concern myself with it.  Besides, other than the gained wisdom, it held no appeal to me whatsoever.  I mean really, what do YOU think of when you consider the word CRONE???  Well, personally, I envisioned an unappealing, wrinkled, dried up old hag with no sensuality, no sex appeal, and no charisma and THAT my friends, was not a path I was ready or willing to walk.

But now that I am physically IN the crone stage, my mental Maiden is going to have to make some moves to catch up, for although my body screams crone at me, my mind cries maiden. There is a Mother stage in there somewhere that must be found also.  Physically I am a mother and I know I have some of the mother qualities such as fierce protection and nurturing but in many ways I am still stuck in the Maiden stage of life, rebellion, outspokeness, "pissed off passion", as my Shaman teacher, Jeffrey Pierce, calls it.

So how does one get from point A to point C and somehow touch on point B in the process?  That is what I am trying to figure out.  I realize that I must rethink my opinion of the crone because I absolutely refuse to consider myself a dried up old hag at this stage of the game.  And I think this is my biggest stumbling block in embracing the crone.

In order to embrace the crone, I must let go of ego.  Society sees youth as beautiful.  Society has little use for the dried up old crones.  I have fallen for the lies that society has fed me.  I have fallen for the lie that if I am no longer young, and beautiful and fertile, then I am of no use.  If I listen to society, I am not appealing and I am not desirable.  I must find the beauty within me.  I must reconcile within MYSELF what makes me desirable and beautiful and let go of the world's definition of beauty.  I must recognize that the wisdom of the crone is a beauty all its own.  I must see the crone as beautiful, then I can find peace.  When the Maiden no longer fears the Crone then the Mother can be found.  (Jeffrey, you will get this last part:)

 

V - is for Veterans

I have great respect and admiration for America's veterans.  All of my grandfathers were veterans of WWII,  Charles Cecil Causey, U.S.Marine Corp, Earl Homer Ravencraft, U.S. Navy, and Joe D. Pittman, U.S. Army.  My father, Earl W. Ravencraft, was in the National Guard.  I come from a long line of veterans and warriors.  As I have mentioned before, my great, great, great, etc. grandfathers, fought in the Revolutionary War to establish this country as a sovereign nation.  Needless to say, I love my veterans.

I often wonder where would we be if it weren't for our veterans.  Would I possibly be speaking Japanese or German now instead of English?  Would I live in a free country or would I suffer under the rule of a nasty dictator?  Who's to say where we would be if it weren't for our veterans.

In the meantime, I wrote a little poem in honor of our veterans and our currently serving warriors.  It goes a little somethin' like this:

You walk the streets and shout for peace

Waving signs and carrying cards.

Don't you realize that peace

Is what they're fighting for?

The very reason your freedom of speech

You're able to exercise,

Is due to the fact that braver ones than YOU

Have fought and given their lives.

I recognize your democratic right

To express your feelings and views,

But I also plead that you respect

The ones who've bled for you.

So as you protest, hoist your signs,

Demonstrate and spew your crap,

Remember the warrior who proudly served

So you could do just that.

For these brave men and women

Have stood in the gap throughout time,

So you and I may live in freedom

Here in our own lives.

God bless America and her WARRIORS!

Z is for ZEST

I try daily to live my life with ZEST!  In all actuality I refuse to live it any other way.  When you consider the meaning of the word, zest...

a tart spiciness vigorous and enthusiastic enjoyment add herbs or spices to A piece of orange or lemon peel, or the aromatic oil which may be squeezed from such peel, used to give flavor to liquor, etc. To cut into thin slips, as the peel of an orange, lemon, etc.; to squeeze, as peel, over the surface of anything. enjoyment Yes, when you consider the meaning of the word zest, why would you want to live life any other way??!!  I do believe I have the tart spiciness down to an art:)  I strive to embrace each day with a vigorous and enthusiastic enjoyment.  Unless I am mistaken, I add spice to the lives of those around me when I can, and I try to squeeze as much life out of every day that God gives me.  And last, but not least, I enjoy life! You may wonder how this is possible.  I am more than happy to share my secret:)  I realized after reading The Dalai Lama's book, The Art of Happiness, that happiness really is a choice.  Living life with zest and excitement is a choice.  Every morning, when I open my eyes for the first few seconds of my day, I have a choice.  I can choose to be happy and live the day granted me with zest, or I can choose to be a grumbly grump and make myself and everyone around me miserable all day.  It's that simple. It doesn't matter if you had a horrible childhood or if you haven't yet accomplished your life's goals and dreams, or if your job sucks, your life starts over each day the minute you open your eyes.  The past is gone, done, over. The future is but a dream.  Your life is only moment to moment, breath to breath, RIGHT NOW.  You have been given a new day, another chance to get it right.  I choose to live right now, happy.  I choose to live my life with ZEST!  Period. I can hear ya grumbling already...saying well that's just hogwash. Now I am not saying that I don't ever get down or worried or ticked off, I do.  BUT when I do, I remember a scripture that puts things back into perspective.  Philippians 4:8 - Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. And that is just what I do. If I find myself worrying about bills, I remind myself that I have a roof over my head, when there are many folks who have lost their jobs and their homes.  I stop and give thanks.  If I find myself fretting over Logan's allergies and snotty nose, I am reminded of my friend, whose son has cancer, and Logan's sniffles seem like a blessing.  I stop and give thanks.  If I get frustrated because I can't afford to buy steak for dinner every week, I am reminded of the homeless, who haven't had ANYTHING to eat in days, and my chicken looks like a feast fit for a king!  I stop and give thanks. You see, there is ALWAYS a reason to CHOOSE happiness.  I choose to count my blessings.  I choose to see the bright side.  I choose to not give the darkside any more victories than possible.  There is a little devil over there with a shiz-eating grin on his face gloating each time I don't choose happiness...SO...  I CHOOSE to live my life with ZEST!!  I encourage you to do the same!!  This is the day that the Lord hath made.  I will rejoice and be glad in it.  ROCK IT PEEPS!!!

 

Y is for YIELD

If you look up the definition of the word yield, you might find something like this:  to surrender or relinquish to the physical control of another, hand over possession of ,  to surrender or submit (oneself) to another, to give up and cease resistance or contention, to give way to pressure or influence, submit to urging, persuasion, or entreaty.

If you consider these definitions, then yielding may never seem like an option you would want to choose. It sounds weak.  It sounds cowardly.  Why, it just sounds like something only sissies would do.  But I would like to offer you another perspective on the word, yield.

Over 22 years ago, when Blake and I married, someone gave us a copy of Ann Landers' rules for a happy marriage.  One of the rules was :  Yield to the wishes of your partner as a matter in self-discipline if you can think of no better reason.  Whoa!  That could be a tough one.  It could be something as simple as what to have for dinner.  Blake wants steak.  I want chicken.  We have a dilemma.  Whatever shall I do?  Is it really worth an argument to push the chicken issue?  Or, is it possible that maybe I could yield to his wishes and keep the peace?  Yielding takes discipline.  Yielding takes strength.  Yielding is NOT for sissies.

This concept of yielding is not limited to husband/wife relationships.  Sometimes it is to our benefit to yield to our children too.  I can hear you now.  YIELD, to a child's wishes!!  Never!  Before you rush to that decision, consider the sage advice of my grandmother, Marjorie Causey, "Choose your battles wisely.  Don't make every little thing a battle because there are going to be lots of them.  Sometimes you just have to let your child make a choice, even if it is not the choice you would have made, and let them live with the consequences.  This is how they learn."  Yielding not only takes discipline and strength, it also takes courage.  It takes courage to yield, relinquish a little of that parental control, sit by and watch your child possibly make a mistake.

Another person we might want to consider yielding to is ourselves.  How many times have I rushed headlong into something without yielding, slowing down to pray over the matter, meditate upon it it and wait for Divine direction.  How many times was God looking down sadly wanting to scream STOP, LOOK, LISTEN!  How much better off would I be now if I had?  I venture to say MUCH better.

As I think about our world I think how much better off we would all be if everyone learned the value of YIELD.  Politicians and world leaders in particular come to mind.  The Republicans think their view is always right.  The Democrats think the Republicans are always wrong.  Neither side is willing to yield and what we usually end up with is a stand still, a lockout, a stall.  Is this beneficial to any of us?  I dare say not at all. 

I think about religions.  Every religion seems thinks they have all of the answers.  Their way is the only way.  The Baptist believe that total immersion baptism is the only way.  The Methodists and Catholics feel that sprinkling with Holy water is good enough.  Who is right?  Who is wrong?  Is it possible that they all could be right?  Does it really matter in the long run?  

As I am realigning my life and my priorities of late, I have been giving alot of thought to the concept of yielding.  The older I get, the more I understand that Webster might just have been wrong about the word yield.  I do not feel by yielding I am being weak or giving up.  Often times I have found that it is in yielding that I prove my greatest strength.   

X is for XTRA (lagniappe)

"We picked up one excellent word -- a word worth travelling to New Orleans to get; a nice, limber, expressive, handy word -- 'lagniappe.' They pronounce it lanny- yap.  It is Spanish -- so they said." [Mark Twain, "Life on the Mississippi"]

la·gniappe - (lan-yap)

–noun Chiefly Southern Louisiana and Southeast Texas . a small gift given with a purchase to a customer, by way of compliment or for good measure; bonus

 

So....are y'all startin' to get the idea of my "X" word - X is for XTRA or down around Sugar Magnolia parts...lagniappe.  Lagniappe is that little somethin' extra that you give that is not required.  Often times merchants down South Louisiana and Mississippi way give a little something extra as a way of saying thanks to their customers. 

 

It is a common belief among Southerners that you get what you give.  You will not find any more generous people in the whole wide world as you will find in the South.  Hospitality is our middle name.  We might not have two pennies to rub together, but whatever we have, we share.  When times are plenty, we share.  When times are lean, we share.  I remember my grandfather, Charles Causey, used to grow acres and acres of vegetables every summer, far more than he needed.  Once I asked him, "Pa-pa, why do you grow so MUCH?"  His answer was, "Because somebody will need it, like the widows at the church.  They don't have anybody to grow a garden for them.  Or that new young couple that moved in over the hill there.  Somebody will need it and I can share it."  My grandfather was such a beautiful soul.  I miss him so much.

 

During my growing up years I was pretty much taught that if someone asks you to do something for them, or you are providing a service for someone, don't just do what is required...go that XTRA mile.  If you're picking some beans for your Granny, go ahead and shell them for her too.  No, Granny didn't ask you to shell them, only to pick them BUT, it's that little something EXTRA that makes all the difference.  It makes people feel special, makes 'em feel loved.  I remember an old Southern Baptist preacher telling me once, "You can't out give God.  You get what you put out there."  Lagniappe, a beautiful, generous word.  Try it out!  You might be surprised what comes back to ya!  Sugar Magnolia wouldn't steer ya wrong:)

W - is for WAYSIDE

As I thought of what to write for the letter "W", I remembered a poem I wrote over 20 years ago.  I've always had a soft spot for those who've been left by the wayside of life.  I often think...There but for the grace of God go I.  This poem was actually published in a book of American Poetry.  I thought I might share it with you.  I feel it is more relevant today than it was when I wrote it so long ago.

http://youtu.be/Y2EcEckJOSw

LEFT BY THE WAYSIDE

BY:  Renee Ravencraft Bierbaum

How did you get here, homeless man?

What cruel twist of fate,

Dropped you on this forgotten path

Of misery and waste?

What brought you to this, young woman?

What unfortunate roll of the dice,

Left you walking this street corner

Selling body and soul through the nights?

Who did this to you little child?

Your face is black and blue!

I can see there in your haunted eyes

That your heart is broken too.

What kind of people are we?

To allow others to live like this?

One can't even call that living.

They just fight to exist.

So what brought us here Americans...

Here to our indifferent state??

Leaving fellow men by the wayside,

As we continue on our way.